Cursed Fate
by Edelin
Summary: Dreams are like the stars;You can't touch them but if you follow them, they will lead you to your Destiny.Leon his whole life dreamed of a man named Squall,who also was Cloud's dead dream, and would be the reason he'd become the centerpice of a war. AU ON HIATUS
1. A Truth Revealed, Secrets Surfaced

**Author's note:** Well this is a story I started around 3 years ago with my cousin. We had splited the characters and decided to write the scenes for them. But she kind of lost interest in that. We didn't do much; just this chapter, but I have been thinking of this these past days and I decided to try to continue it on my own. She had actually proposed that; to work it on my own. So here it is. I am still not sure what I am going to do with this but I would like to hear someone's opinion about this. Also I am not sure whether it will be a Seifer/Squall or Cloud/Squall story... I do not yet know which will dominate... what I know is that Squall(in his previous life) and Cloud were an item. The story may loosely remind FFX since I was playing it when I first thought of this plot, a group of people go to a sacred place to fulfill a holy purpose. But other than that, it will probably be original. Ok that's it I guess... if you like it, inform me so I may feel more motivated to write about it. You will understand it as you read the first chapter but just so you know beforehand, Leon is the new Squall and Squall is the past self.

* * *

><p>The big round room was barely lit by the fire of the ceiling revealing some characteristics of the 14 faces. Only one chair was empty and everyone seemed to wait for a certain someone to fill the blank. The silence was broken by the double doors opening and closing. A man dressed in a black coat with red, kinda spiked long hair and snake green eyes entered, his face serious while he sat on the empty chair. The blond woman next to him, having her eyes closed and not changing her expression, muttered.<p>

"You are late, Axel."

The man just brushed it off with a wave of his hand. Suddenly, the man who was sitting in the chair across from the entrance doors stood up and looked at the other members of the council. The crown on his head gave his status away.

"Now that we are all here, we can begin. We have a very urgent matter to discuss"

"Which is?" A man looking like a pirate, dangerous and charming with light brown eyes and short brown hair asked, the irony clear in his voice. Balthier looked at the king as if challenging him. The kind king of white hair and light blue eyes looked at his four advisors for help. A man wearing a long dark blue cloak and hood which hid his old and wise face, got up and looked at the warriors of justice, the so called _Gladiators_.

"We have valuable sources that Griever's chosen has been reborn." Most of the Gladiators looked up kind of shocked except for the man sitting across from the King who just stared at the floor. A woman with black hair looked at the fearsome with the corner of her eye and then back at the Great Mage.

"Reborn? How?" A spiked haired blond man with blue eyes and a huge tattoo of a lightning on his left cheek asked. Zell had a curious look on his face, looking like he found that case unbelievable.

"It seems that his spirit was able to survive and be reborn in the outside world"

"So we weren't able to realize it sooner" a grey haired man said with dark brown eyes and a mysterious gleam to his face. The high scientist of the Empire was one of the most frightening, yet admired men who controlled the great country.

"So you want us to kill him again" Axel said and some looked at the blonde woman who had spoken first. Ashe looked at the king, not caring for the stares she received.

"Won't he be reborn again?" The black haired woman, named Tifa, asked.

"No." The great mage answered with confidence. "If he dies outside of the Holy Land, he can't"

"That's why he was reborn. Because he set foot on the holy forest right before he died." The Head Counselor, the great Sephiroth said. Green eyes looked at the blond man with the spike hair through long silver hair.

"What about Griever?" Everyone looked at a girl with brown hair which reached her shoulders and bright green eyes.

"What do you mean, Selphie?" the king asked.

"What I want to say, your Majesty, is that if the chosen one dies, with no hope of being reborn again, that will mean that Griever might not be able to ever wake up."

"Griever will awake when time comes. At this moment, he builds his power inside his seal." Sephiroth said.

"Then why is he his _chosen one_? Can we be sure that we're not harming the great angel instead of helping him?" Green eyes looked at the two most powerful Gladiators. The blond man having the King right opposite of him, Cloud and Ashe who was looking at the floor.

The High Priest stood up, somewhat furiously, and looked at the 10 warriors, one by one, his eyes staying most at the usually energetic girl. His long black hair kind of covering his young face and his light brown eyes shining with anger.

"I am the High Priest. My word counts as much as Griever's. I know what's best and that is that boy's death." Selphie nodded although reluctant.

"Ok, we just asked." A blonde woman with green eyes sitting on Selphie's left said, rolling her eyes at the obvious anger of the man. Rikku never liked the High Priest. Something was just not right about him…

"We're here for the job anyway" Another woman with short black hair and brown eyes added. Yuffie looked exactly like a ninja princess and sharing Rikku's opinion for the man.

"Should the people know about this?" a boy looking younger than anyone else in the room with spike brown hair and clear blue eyes asked the King who looked at the four others, even though he already did know the answer to the question.

"No one must know about it Sora. You must handle it alone."

"So, where is he supposed to be now?" Balthier asked.

"In the outside world." The great mage simply answered.

"But the outside world is huge." Yuffie said.

"It will be impossible to find him on time." Rikku said.

"And we can forget about searching him alone since only four of us know his face. I suppose you don't have any picture of him, do you?" Balthier asked putting his feet on the table and looking calmly at the five.

"And it will be best if you search for him all together, since Emiya and his followers will also chase him. So you need to combine your strength."

"And the _four mages _will also come after him and they are able to find him sooner than us because of the spirits living inside them" Selphie pointed.

"That's correct" the King said.

"I heard that we know nothing about the fourth mage while we know a few about the other three." Tifa said.

"They are not the most important now" Sephiroth said crossing his fingers.

"But they are needed for Griever's awakening." Tifa said back. "I believe we should find them and not let them go near him first. We could use their powers to find the man easier."

"The sprits inside would never give him away." The High Priest answered back trying to end this conversation that seemed to make him nervous.

"But we could always follow them." Balthier said, wanting to press the subject since he noticed the other man's obvious discomfort.

"Find the man and do whatever is needed for that. The four mages don't matter as much as he does, since the spirit will always find a new body to invade. He is unique. So if he dies, he will never come back and won't be able to awake Griever from his slumber." The King said ending the conversation. Everyone sat up and the Gladiators left, Cloud glancing for one last time at the King's eyes.

* * *

><p>Walking outside Tifa went near Cloud who walked slower than the others, therefore being out of earshot.<p>

"So he's back." she told him.

"So?" he asked glancing at her.

"Will you be able to save him this time?" Cloud stopped dead on his tracks, his eyes wide at Tifa's question, while the woman continued walking as if she hadn't even talked to him.

_What the hell was that?_

* * *

><p><em>He wasn't thinking…<em>

_He wasn't __**feeling**__…_

_The only thing he felt was the pain in his lungs…The cold…The ache…_

_He couldn't see clearly…_

Everything was blurry…He couldn't think clearly…His mind was empty…

_He didn't feel his legs…_

…_They couldn't carry him any longer…At least that's how he felt…_

…_It wasn't because of the trail made of ice he was running on…_

…_It wasn't because of the numbness that threatened to overwhelm him…_

…_He just knew…_

…_That he wouldn't last for much longer…_

_He wasn't bothered by the cold. He wasn't bothered by the headache. He wasn't bothered by the shouts…He couldn't make them out anymore anyway…_

_The only words that his tired mind was able to comprehend were_

_ Find him!_

_ Catch him!_

_ There he is! _

_ Don't let him escape!_

_** Kill him!**_

_ Kill him!_

_Kill him!_

_ Kill him!_

_ Kill him!_

…_Why?…_

_He didn't remember anymore…_

_His brain wouldn't function properly…_

_He just knew he had to run…_

_Run…_

_Run…_

_The only thing left for him now was to run…_

_Run for his beliefs…_

_Run for his ideals…_

_Run for his memories…_

_Run for his dreams…_

Run for his very own existence…

A lot of questions were heard inside his head. Questions that his naive self wanted to do. Questions that the childish and innocent side that every human was hiding in him wanted to ask. His inner self wanted to block everything away and just run.

_Do his mission…_

Accomplish it…

_And then continue with whatever task was given to him to do…_

_Just like a soldier…_

_He would just have to follow orders…_

_Never question about anything…_

_Sometimes it was easy…_

_Other times it was hard…_

_But his other part wanted to rebel…_

_To ask why. Why __**him**__? Why was __**he **__the one he had to run? Why was __**he **__the one he had to hide? Why did __**his **__dreams have to be destroyed? Why couldn't __**he **__be the one to lead his__own life? Why couldn't __**he**__ live a normal life? Why should __**he**__ do this? But the question that awlays plugged him the most was…_

Why was he alone…?

Even though he remembered people shouting for him to keep running, for him to go on and not to worry, that they would hold them back…That was still for the mission…They all had their missions…He didn't know if they cared for him…Maybe they did…Maybe they didn't…But they hadn't decided to fight for him.

They weren't fighting for themselves either. It was just all about the mission. Like him…They were the pawns…

…

And then he felt something sharp coming in contact with his back and heard a cry.

**Squall!**

Leon woke up almost screaming. Almost…The brunet took long, rough breaths trying to calm himself down. Touching his chest and then his forehead, he realized that he was soaked. The man looked out of the window through long brown locks. The sun was up. Taking a glance at the clock, he managed to curse under his breath. 7:55. Great. There wasn't a chance in hell he'd manage to go to sleep again now.

Sighing while trembling a little, the stormy eyed youth hugged himself and crouched on the bed. It was those dreams again. Again…

'What do they mean? I don't understand. Why am I seeing these dreams for so many years now! Since I was five. Five! What are they? God…why! What…'

"What's happening to me!" The youth crouched even more to himself, his hold on his brown locks painful.

Find him!

Leon put his hands on his ears trying to block out the voices.

Catch him!

Catch him!

Stormy eyes closed painfully and his hands applied such force to his ears that his head started ringing. From the voices. From the pain.

There he is!

No…Why?

Don't let him escape!

Why wouldn't they go away!

Find him! Catch him! There he is! Don't let him escape!

Why wouldn't they leave him alone!

Find him! Catch him! There he is! Don't let him escape!

Damn it!

Find him!

"Go away already!"

Catch him!

Leon gritted his teeth painfully. The scenes from the dream. They had been so real…Just like every other time.

Find him! Catch him!

Just like every other freaking time!

Find him! Catch him!

It hadn't always been like this. The first years, the dreams were peaceful, almost…nice…but now…After he had turned fifteen, the dreams had started to become…harsh if you could call them that. Violent. But not like this. This had started recently. The last months to be exact. He…he couldn't handle it anymore. He had brushed it off in the beginning but it wasn't easy to wake up soaked, with quick heartbeats and rough breaths, trying to even manage to breathe sometimes, every single night. It was too much.

He still heard the voices in his head. He still felt the exhaustion. The agony. The…

…betrayal…

For some reason he kept feeling betrayed in the later dreams. He didn't know why…nor would he care if…if he didn't feel so bad about it…It was…it was like that betrayal was worse than…than death himself.

Leon shook his head not wanting to think about it. But this only lead to the voices becoming louder and louder and louder and louder…

Find him! Catch him!

Find him! Catch him!

Find him! Catch him!

Find him! Catch him!

Find him! Catch him!

**Kill him!**

**Squall!**

"Who the hell is Squall!" Leon exclaimed, his hands touching the bed and his eyes watering, him not really knowing the reason.

At the sound of the doorbell, stormy eyes widened and looked at the door of the small apartment. Leon sighed frustrated and wiped the tears from his eyes before they could even fall. Finding his black trousers nearby, he put them on and after blinking a few times so that any proof of him crying, or being on the verge of anyway, would be destroyed, he opened the door.

"Mr. Daglas."

"Hello Mr Loire." The old man with the white hair and grey moustache said. "I came for the rent."

Leon didn't have time to argue about the hour and just rolled his eyes, signaling for the landlord to wait. When he returned, the old man snatched the money from the youth's hand, smiling for the very first time since Leon had opened the door and left without a second word.

There was a time when the brunet would have to restrain himself from shutting the door with unneeded force but now he was used to it. At least he had a place to live. Closing the door and leaning against it, Leon sighed and looked at the ceiling muttering.

"This is my life Squall. I guess you don't like it so don't mendle with it."

* * *

><p>"No, I haven't seen him." The old lady said and continued with her work. The blond boy sighed. He had been looking for the guy for half a week now but no one had seemed to know him. Maybe he didn't describe him well…<p>

'Don't waste our time. We have to hurry.'

'_I know, I know. But…where should I look? No one has even the slightest clue…'_

'_Don't give up Roxas! You need to find him.'_

Roxas put a hand on his waist and looked kinda angry, his blue eyes narrowed.

"Why do I have to do this anyway?" he whispered. The growled voice didn't answer. It just stayed silent inside his head as if it was a parasite in deep sleep. Roxas sighed and continued walking. They had argued over this many times before and he didn't seem able to have his way with the dragon spirit. Bahamut was way too stubborn.

"Just like a King should be I guess." The boy muttered and stopped walking to look around. His blond spiked hair swayed lightly from the wind and his sweet face gave in his sensitive side.

"Excuse me." He said walking closer to a man reading a newspaper.

"Eh?"

"Umm…I'm looking for someone." The grey haired man with the moustache continued to kinda glaring at him.

"Ehh…he had short brown hair with long spikes falling on his face and eyes with the color of the storm." The man didn't do anything.

"Oh! And he has a scar on his face like…this." He said imitating the scar on the brunet's, he was searching for, face. He just hoped that Bahamut had given him the right information. Because he had began to doubt that.

The man continued to glare at him and Roxas looked nervous and innocent for a moment before he got tired of this and glared back. The man's face relaxed a lot and looked calmly at the boy and then back at the paper in his hands.

"No. I don't know him."

Roxas sighed and muttered a thanks as he started walking away.

"Wait." The blond turned and saw that the older man looked thoughtful.

"Hmm…Does he wear an earring on his left ear too?"

"Eh?" Roxas blinked.

'_He probably does.'_

"Yes, yes he does!"

"Oh…ok then." The man said and returned to his newspaper.

The blond frowned and asked innocently.

"What…Do you know him then?"

"No." The man said without even looking at the boy.

Roxas started getting pissed.

"Look…" he said grabbing the other man from his shirt. "Don't play with him." The older guy looked frightened. Blue eyes had a strange gleam in them…

'Roxas!'

The blond's eyes widened and the strange light disappeared as suddenly as it had made its appearance. He relaxed his hold on the man's shirt and looked away, his look strange and serious as that of an agent.

The man laughed and got free. Roxas turned and looked at him angry and confused at the same time, both feelings apparent on his beautiful face.

"I like you."

"Eh?" Roxas asked surprised.

"The person you're looking for lives in that street." He said and pointed to a road on their right not far from where they were.

"But I don't know where exactly." The man smiled.

"Thanks!" Roxas said cheerfully and ran towards that direction.

He was happy. At last. He had found him. Him. He was the reason Bahamut, the dragon spirit that lived within his body since he was born, had forced him to move in this town. He missed his hometown. But now…He knew that he had a long journey in front of him and even though he couldn't understand its supposed importance yet, he was ready for it. Ready to fight. Ready to do what he was destined for. And although he wasn't happy about it and he didn't know how much he should believe the dragon's words, he was glad that he had made a start. He wanted this to end. But to end something, you had to start it first. And now he knew where to begin, he thought as he reached the street and stopped to look at it. The one who could end everything was here.

Griever's chosen one.

But Roxas couldn't imagine that this end… was just the beginning of his real troubles. And Bahamut knew that. As he knew how angry the boy would be when the truth was revealed to him

'Can you help here as to where to find him?'

'I feel him a little…' the spirit within the blond answered. 'Walk at your left'

'That little?'

'I am inside a body that not only doesn't have any experience with magic but was oblivious of it existence for years' the spirit answered sharply.

'So it's my fault' Roxas muttered and continued his way wondering why he was doing this in the first place. Bahamut could go find a body that suited his expectation couldn't he? He was the king of Dragons after all.

The road was empty and deadly silent. Then a big slam was heard, like someone closing the door very harshly. A man with white hair and mustache walked away from a door holding an amount of cash. As he walked towards him, Roxas understood he was rather short. The man looked suspiciously at him and then holding his money tighter continued his way.

Roxas went closer to the man .

'Excuse me sir. Do you know by any chance if a brown haired man lives here? He has a scar on his face.' He asked as politely as he could.

'Who are you?' the man asked not so politely.

'That's none of your business. Do you know where he is?' the boy asked before controlling his anger.

_Roxas! It's not the time for behaviors like that._

Roxas knew that. The short man didn't waste time. Without saying anything he walked away. Roxas didn't move and just looked at the man walking away.

_Go after him!_

Roxas though didn't move.

'Hey boy!' a weak woman's voice called. Roxas looked around and noticed an old woman at a window to look at him.

'Me?' he asked.

'Yes… Yes…' she said and with her hands movement she told him to come closer. Roxas did so. In any case… that woman could also know and he liked asking her than going after that old hug.

'Yes ma'am. What can I do for you?' he asked.

'You are looking for someone aren't you?' she asked.

'Yes.' Roxas answered and went a step back.

'Then come in my house… Maybe I can help you' she said and close the window.

_Go._

The door opened and Roxas not controlling so much his body went in. It was a nice house… simple but charming.

'Sit my boy. Can I offer you something?' she asked the boy and guided him to a small living room.

'No thank you ma'am'

'Not even water?' the woman pleaded. It seemed that the woman didn't have guests for a long time and wanted to enjoy the time she would spent with the young boy.

'I'd like a glass of water' Roxas answered.

'Ok then' she said and went to take what he asked.

'Bahamut are you sure?'

'About the woman?'

'Yes. Are you?'

'Yes'

The old lady came back holding a glass of water for Roxas. She sat slowly and then looked at Roxas who was drinking his water.

'The one you are looking for lives across the street.' She said and looked at the boy who looked at her. 'His name is Leon Loire.'

'Thank you ma'am.' He said.

'I suppose you have to go now don't you?' she asked sadly.

'I am sorry.'

'No don't be.' She said and tried to get up. It seemed her body was though really weak even for a small action like that. Roxas helped her and holding her hand the went to the door.

'Thank you again ma'am' the blond said.

'It's okay… dragon king' she said and closed the door of her house. Roxas stood there shocked of her last words.

_Don't waste our time._

Roxas went across the street and looked at the addresses.

Leon Loire second floor.

At last.

* * *

><p>Inside the temple of the great angel, the night after the council, men wearing black robes secretly gathered. The temple was all in gold with statues of Griever. The temple was dark inside with some candles on the floor that had precious stones on it, that gave a faint light.<p>

From the men one was the High Priest he walked alone towards a door and entered a small room with nothing in. He then fell on his knees and had a position of praying in the ancient language. As he was on the ground, he had his eyes close and all his body was tensed. After finishing the first prayer, he lay on the ground and started saying another prayer in the forgotten language.

A language best forgotten...

He kept talking with passion in his voice and as he lay there a dark voice was heard inside his heart that was corrupted from it.

'Hello High Priest.' It started. The man stayed still not daring to move even his little finger. 'Why have you called me again?'

'Um the Gladiators' the man managed to say. The spirit's aura got stronger at the mention of the protectors of the empire.

'What about them?'

'Well…' the mortal started and said all that happened during the council. From the beginning to the very end.

'I see how it is…' he said 'So they want to know more about the location…' he said. 'Then we shouldn't let them down, should we?' the voice said ironically 'Tell them that the man is at Hollow Bastion'

'Yes… as you command' he said. 'What should I do with that Gladiator that _Selphie_?'

'Oh her' the voice laughed 'For now she will go to the outside world to fulfill her duty, after that..' the voice said and laughed.

'But… she is loved a lot by the people and although she isn't the strongest Gladiator, she is an old Gladiator that lived when the man was born for the first time and she influences a lot the others… two of the younger Gladiators seem already to be under her care so and her influence. What if she helps the man instead of us?'

'_Us?' _the voice threatened.. 'You, a simple mortal, dare to think that we are the same?' The man shaking from fear to the point of being ready to cry shook his head.

'No… no… never… I am an ant at best compared to your greatness'

'Very well' the voice calmed down. 'As for your question… She is first of all the protector of the empire. No one and nothing will come above that… and my brother is not able to speak to her…'

'Speak to her?'

'Even if she didn't become a Gladiator, Selphie is a blessed child of Griever but this in the end will not help neither her…. Nor him'

'And the others?' the man dared to ask but immediately he regretted it. To his surprise though there was no harsh reaction.

'Ashe will obey… she is very fond of rules and after all she killed him once, she can kill him twice. Axel wouldn't dare to openly oppose her and Balthier trusts her enough to not question her. Rikku and Yuffie as long as Selpie can't do anything, they won't. As you said, they are under her care and influence.'

'What if they are used?'

'Ah… stupid humans… how little you understand others… Selphie is far too good to sacrifice any human, especially those two that she has taken care of. She loves them… as she loves nearly everyone she feels nice. Now as for the other new members, Zell and Sora… they are new and they respect their elders enough to obey.. Tifa is a bit dangerous; she is the only one that is not afraid of Ashe although she is not as strong as she is. And as for Cloud, if anything happens, I will personally take care of him.'

'Yes…' the man said that his body had started to feel pain from being all this hour in that position.

'Watch Selphie then Cloud and Tifa… and the other protectors..' he laughed…

_How nice protectors… they will kill the empire's only hope…_

The high Priest, having heard nothing of the voice's true intentions, feeling the voice was gone, got slowly up and moved his body so he could relax. He got up and left the room quickly.

Outside the other priests were waiting for him and what the Great Angel had said. All of them were on the floor and with the sound of the door, they immediately got up. The high Priest obviously exhausted from this meeting, without saying anything to anyone walked away and went outside of the temple.

* * *

><p>'You all know why I wanted this meeting to take place' Ashe said as she looked at the other members of the table. The Gladiators were all there. This time not even Axel dared to be late. After all dealing with Ashe when no one could protect him was far too dangerous even for Axel that loved danger.<p>

'Yes Ashe we do. Go on.' Tifa said as she looked at the woman.

'Very well.' She said and looked at the blond man sitting next to her, sharing the same power. He didn't do nor say anything. As usual she would take the lead in the meeting. 'As you all know… Squall is again alive. This means that the situation will probably be chaotic in a while. We have to act and act quickly.'

Everyone looked at her with the exception of Cloud.

'Do you have a plan Ashe?' Tifa asked.

'No… but I want to have a plan and this meeting is supposed to help me… us.' She said.

'Ashe you do know my objections about the matter' Selphie said at the blond woman.

'Yes I do'

'Can you tell me your opinion about them?'

'They are too risky…' Ashe said and looked at the brunette girl with the corner of her eye. 'I have to admit though that your opinions are based on logic.'

'So you say that we shouldn't kill him?' Balthier asked.

'We must obey' Ashe said.

'I see' the man replied.

'Anyway back to where we began. We need to find a way to find him before the mages'

'Ashe…' Sora started and everyone looked at the younger member of the table 'what if we can't find him alone. Isn't it safer to find a mage and follow him…'

'Sora…' Ashe said and smiled. 'I understand why you are saying that but the spirits will be able to detect us immediately… especially me'

'Because you killed him last time?'

'Yes'

Cloud moved a little and hid a sad expression on his face. Tifa noticing that action smiled a bit and when his eyes met hers she gave him a look of comfort.

'Ashe maybe we shouldn't leave tomorrow… Maybe we should ask the high Priest to try again about the location. To try harder.' Axel said.

'I agree with the redhead' Yuffie said and Rikku nodded in agreement to her words.

'But they may say that this is disrespect.' Zell said.

'We should better not involve those Heads a lot in our works. We are the Gladiators and we will personally take care of our work' Selphie said.

'But we need help now to begin' Sora said.

'Yes… but we must not overdo it. It's better if we ask not directly… not show we need help.'

'Why?' Rikku asked.

'Because then they can use that against us. If we do it the other way around… they won't be able to do that.'

'So actually you say that we will ask help but they won't be able to say we asked help but they will obviously know that we did. They are not stupid after all…' Balthier stated.

'My thoughts exactly.'

For a moment no one spoke.

'Still this doesn't help much with how to continue.' Ashe said.

'It is a step though.' Sora said and smiled at one of the most powerful Gladiators.

* * *

><p>Ok that's it. So if you find it interesting tell me otherwise it will remain as it is and eventually will be deleted. By the way, I would accept a co-author, as long as we are able to understand and communicate with each other. For this to "grow" I really need reviews... because I need ideas and to see what YOU would like to read. I will ask for suggestions, maybe even create a poll, ask questions... that I expect someone to answer. If it is not good or you don't see potetional (is that how it is spelled?) please also tell me so I will not be wasting my time. Thank you for your time.<p> 


	2. The Reason Behind Madness And Love

**Author's Note:**Firstly, big thanks for those who reviewed or put the story in alert. Since there are some people that are interested I wrote something. It's probably the shortest chapter I'ever written the past 3 years but I hope it is adequate. eff-eff-fanatic had some questions about the story so I decided to answer the here. *cough cough*

Squall is in essence two people but one at the same time. They are the same spitrit but because of the different experiences they have lived, they are not completely the same. However similarities in opinions, ideas, habbits or likes and disklikes can be found.

Griever is a deity-angel that according to the legends has gone to sleep after a fight with Emiya a dark deity. It was said that he would awake when the human of his chosing appeared and arrived at his secret sealing place. The chosen one would be the only one able to find him but he would not be alone in this whole ceremony. The four great spirits that followed Griever would reside in human bodies and would offer him their guideness.

And she is right it reminds a bit of my other story but I hope not too much. These warriors are not undead or prisoners between Life and Death. They can die, if they want but they are a bit special. They are chosen to protect the hidden Empire (that is hidden because of that battle between the two deities). In my other story their purpose is two fight each other.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the plot (the basic idea of which I share with my cousin). This chapter though is written solely by me.

* * *

><p>The meeting was over. Ashe sat in her chair and touched her eyes tiredly. Everyone had left or so she thought. She took a big breath and let a sigh. As she looked around the room she saw Sora sitting in his chair looking at her. She looked at him and her eyes softened. "Sora…" she muttered.<p>

"Master…'

"Not any longer. We are now both Gladiators" she said.

"You will always be my teacher… that doesn't change whether I am a Gladiator or not. Would you like to talk to me? You seem very troubled." he said and sat at the chair next to hers.

"It is just… a strange thought I have… or maybe a feeling. I have it since I killed him." she said.

"Talk to me.' he insisted and he moved to a chair closer to her.

She looked at him and then at the ceiling. "You know that I was the one who killed him. No one ever said he shouldn't be alive… he was just early and not the right incarnation." she looked at Sora and ran a hand through her hair "But… I always wondered if he would ever be born again. The right incarnation. " she paused for a moment "He was a creature loved by the great angel, the one that was closer to him than everyone else, including the High Priest. I have lived as a gladiator nearly a century but before that I was a civilian and I loved the idea of the messiah. Because that's what he is, the one that will unite the empire with the outside world." she sighed " But I killed him because these were the orders."

Sora slowly patted slightly her shoulder. "Are you afraid that now is the right time for him to do what he is supposed to and you may prevent Griever's plan by following the orders?"

She nodded and got up. "I know that I am not supposed to question the temple but I am also not supposed to question Griever… the priests are humans, he is though a chosen one, a unique, marked as special by a deity. And he, exactly as he was, was born again. Isn't that proof a mistake that must have happened. I do not mean they lied or tricked us but they just made a mistake. Do you understand what I mean?"

"That the priests may be wrong?"

"Yes, that and also another thing. What if our doubting about his arrival is a sin because we doubt Griever's will. Could a deity make a mistake?"

Sora didn't answer and just looked at her. "If you find him again, will you kill him again?"

She shook her head. "To be honest, no. I want first to research something and then see if I will do it again. I do not forget that I exist to protect the people of the empire, not the priests. Whoever said that they are not corrupted?" She got up and caressed his head. "Oh and Sora" she stopped at the door and looked at him turning her head a little "This conversation never happened."

The young male kept his look on her back until she wasn't visible in the dark hallway anymore. Things were going to get crazy soon; he felt that strongly. He sighed and marched towards the exit of the room closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Roxas saw a brown haired man with stormy green eyes to run out of the building and accidentally fell on him. The man turned at him to apologize.<p>

"Hey I am sorry. I am in a hurry"

And that was when Roxas understood what Bahamut was saying about the uniqueness of the man, they were looking for all those months. For someone as sensitive to magic as Roxas, the man's power was strikingly obvious. He took a big breath to calm himself. At last, he had found him. And he was worth all the searching and all the trouble.

_Do not say anything now! We do not know how much he knows about himself and the past._

Roxas nodded to the man without saying anything. Leon looked at him for a moment and then slowly started to walk away, still looking at him. Then he drifted his eyes to his watch and his eyes widened. "Oh fuck! I am late!" he exclaimed and started running.

The blond mage kept staring at him and then again at the name on the addresses.

_Leon Loire_

Roxas touched it slightly with his finger and then let his hand fall.

_You__ should prepare yourself for all the explaining you have to do to him. _

Roxas lowered his head and started walking again away from the house following the man; he wanted to watch him in his daily life, get to understand him as a person. He needed to witness how he react to situations, how he interacts with others, so he could get a faint idea about how he was going to introduce him to the truth. He seemed collected but maybe he was that way on the outside only.

_If he seems to be short tempered or anything, maybe it would be better to get to know him first and then tell him Bahamut._

_No! There is no time Roxas! The temple is going to send the warriors soon, they already know of his existence. We must hurry and start our journey. In the meantime, we will find the others. I will inform the other spirits that we have located him so they will stop searching. Roxas, it is crucial for him to succeed. If he dies again, it is very possible that he will not be reborn. Griever is weak now and according to the legend Emiya is going to completely take over him, if his chosen doesn't free him. My siblings and I have survived in secrecy all these centuries waiting for him to regain his power. He is unique. _

_Yes, I understand that Bahamut. But so am I, right? I am your host and I am also needed for this awakening to succeed._

_Of course, the four great spirits must be there to form the circle but you as in Roxas are not unique. If you die, I can simply transfer to another body and continue. I am strong enough to control a human mind for extended periods of time._

Roxas stayed silent to that statement. Bahamut existed in his thought since he remembered himself. Taking into account what he was just told he felt rather cheated. All the strange looks he received for talking to Bahamut or about him, all the solitude he endured because of being called crazy, his parents' worried faces and the visits to psychiatrics, all _that _didn't matter. The Great Dragon would just sacrifice him and get into another body. He was a toy, a piece of chess ready to be used as a sacrificial lamb because it suited someone's needs.

_Roxas__. _

He still didn't answer. He had an empty life and he accepted that by thinking he was unique, the only one for that role. But in the end, he could fight all the battles, loose at the very end and he would just be tossed aside, deemed as unneeded anymore.

_Don't over think it. I don't want you to die or use you a sacrificial lamb but if it comes down to that, I will have no choice. It is for the greater good._

_Of a place I recently learned about? _

He was angry. Before Bahamut informed him of his purpose inside him, he wanted to get rid of him, or at least pretend he didn't exist and live as normal as possible, but when he told him, he decided to help. If he hadn't been the host, he would be in college now, spending time with his friends and enjoying his innocence. When he accepted, he hadn't thought of dying. He had thought that it would all end and he could return to his home Bahamut-free.

_Roxas… I will do my best to keep you alive. I have practically raised you._

"Because of you I have been alone my whole life." the blond male hissed and walked faster in anger, not caring anymore about the chosen one, whose life was so much more unique and precious than his own.

_Calm down!_

He suddenly stopped and shook violently his head. "Get out! Get out!" he hissed again louder. Some people gave him a look but didn't stop.

_Roxas stop it! Control yourself!_

"No! I do not want to control myself!" he said fell on his knees as Bahamut tried to take control of his body and he fought the spirit with all his might. "Get out now! Find another one! I do not want to do it!" he yelled and let out a scream as he squeezed his head with his hands.

_Calm down! You are going to destroy everything!_

"No! You destroyed everything!" he felt a hand on his shoulder but faintly. The world around him, the people had ceased to be important anymore. "I hate my life, my sleep because it has been full of pain and death. Get out!" he yelled and suddenly someone grabbed him and forced a piece of cloth on his face, on his nose.

The scent took over him and he fell into darkness.

* * *

><p>Leon was in the hospital waiting for the doctor to come out. He couldn't believe he was here for a stranger, a boy he had seen today for the first time. He took another glance at the sleeping figure on the bed. He felt close to him though.<p>

_Get out! Get out!_

The despair in his voice, the pain reminded the brow haired man how much he suffered because of the dreams. The boy had acted like he was possessed by someone or something and tried to get rid of it. It sounded like he was crazy but Leon could identify with him. How many times had he wondered about his sanity because of those dreams? He thought that he was living a second life inside his dream world and he was afraid at times that this second life would take over one day, making him lose himself.

_I hate my life, my sleep because it has been full of pain and death._

That's how his dreams were making him hate sleeping, not allowing him to rest. Because of those dreams he had a form of insomnia and this was affecting his state of mind. He was becoming day by day more hot-tempered and aggressive. It wasn't that he didn't try to cure himself; he had visited doctors and psychologists had tried using pills to sleep but still Squall returned.

He looked at the boy again and approached it. He was in pain but like him, he was enduring it silently, afraid perhaps of the reactions, of the possible rejection. He knew the pain that followed the weird looks he received, the feeling of solitude. He sighed and looked at the ceiling as he went to sit in the armchair again.

Did this boy have his own Squall to torment him? Was he not the only one?

* * *

><p>Roxas woke up to find himself staring at a white ceiling. He closed them again and tried to relax. He felt sore and heavy, unable to move. He turned his head and to his surprise there was someone close to him. It was the chosen one.<p>

_He brought you here._

Bahamut. He closed his eyes again and remembered his behavior some hours ago; it was very immature and unacceptable. He shouldn't have let his frustration take over him. He felt some bitterness about what he heard because in a way it was true; he had accepted this deal because he thought that he was one of the few that were unique and needed for the ritual, a ritual needed to save a hidden world trapped into solitude.

_I am sorry for earlier. My behavior…_

_Don't worry about it. It was my fault for not making it clear from the beginning. After all you were right, you had such a troubled life and you barely sleep because of being my host. I am the cause of your insomnia and that is the reason for your difficulty to control your anger._

He didn't answer and just looked at the other man in the room. He looked back at him and studied him carefully.

"Hey." he said. The man nodded in reply instead of answering, just looking at him, and trying to understand him. It was impossible of course since he would never get to know him, unless Roxas chose to open up. "Why are you here?"

Leon didn't answer immediately but after a moment he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I brought you here."

Roxas chuckled at that and rolled his head so he was looking at the ceiling again instead of the handsome male next to him. "You didn't have to stay. Don't tell me you didn't have anything else to do and decided to spend your time in a hospital next to a complete stranger?"

Leon seemed to be taken slightly aback by the blonde's response. Or maybe he was surprised. He would answer like that, if he answered that is. He tended to ignore people when they were disturbing him or trying to meddle with his affairs. He half smiled again and relaxed; he liked the boy.

"My other choice was to go to class."

"Are you still at school?" the blond boy asked surprised, and disappointed like he expected more from him for an unknown reason. "I mean you are older than me and I have finished school without skipping a year so…"

"I am a university student" he said cutting the boy who after that stayed silent.

He sat up with some difficulty and looked at Leon's face. "You are the first person after my parents that stayed with me in the hospital." he simply said with an emotionless and stoic expression on his face. "Thank you."

Leon nodded in reply and looked away. "I am not here because I pity you." The blond boy raised an eyebrow at that. "It was what you said that made me feel like I had to help you."

"Do you have another creature living inside you?" he asked wanting to test the man's reactions. The few people he opened up to and had revealed Bahamut's existence had walked away in fear of him, certain that he was insane and not worth the trouble. But would the chosen one react differently? If he did, Roxas swore to himself he would help him. If he was able to bear the truth, the responsibility of what his existence had forced him to live; he would give him the support he needed.

If not, he would…

"In a way I do." he answered and the sadness was detectable in his voice, lowered for a moment his defenses.

'Really?"

"Have you ever gone through anything like that?" he asked referring to the incident in the street.

Leon shook his head. Roxas nodded then in return and an uncomfortable silence ruled between them.

"By the way I am Roxas"

"Leon."

_Tell him. I feel he is ready and he must know already about his magic abilities although not to their full extent. _

_Are you sure Bahamut?_

He didn't reply but Roxas knew he insisted on him telling Leon about Squall. He took a big breath and followed his spirit's orders. "So Squall appears only while you are asleep." he simply said and waited to see the reaction of the other man.

He looked at him and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "How…?"

"Do I know that name?"

Leon nodded and felt his heart beat faster. "The creature inside me knows of him." There was a moment of silence again between them. "Would you like to know what he's told me?"

Leon opened his mouth but no sound came out of it. He tried to speak again but found it impossible again to even utter a simple world like yes or no. This was the first time someone seemed to understand his nightmares, his endless torture, seemed to believe that Squall was a different person that wanted to tell him something all these years and to do that, he'd showed Leon his whole life until the bitter, cruel end. Perhaps, this boy could show him the way to escape.

"You may not like it." Roxas warned although he knew that eventually he would have to reveal him the truth.

Leon nodded in understanding but moved a little closer to the boy urging him wordlessly to tell him. Roxas was ready to start when the door opened.

* * *

><p>Cloud was in his room holding a pendant. It was the head of a lion and a very precious head. It was a reminder of what he had lost, how much he had loved someone, how loved he was by that someone and how cruel life was for taking this happiness away from him. Although they were together for a very small period of time he had loved that person, he was the one for him.<p>

But apparently not only for him as he was also Griever's chosen one.

And that last characteristic of his was more important and it cost him his life.

He let the pendant on the bed and rolled to his left side. He missed him. Despite the years that had passed, he missed him so much and there had been many times that he had wondered what would have happened if he had supported him. If he hadn't stood next to Ashe as she shot but close to him and instead of watching him die, he had protected him, would they still be together. Maybe the empire would be one again with the rest of the world and he could live a normal life like a mortal along with him.

There had been so many lonely nights after his death that he wished he was in some way here. Or that he had talked to him once more and they had parted like friends and not like enemies. Oh, how much he regretted his cold words, his accusations towards him.

Even when he bedded others, even when he was drunk, his thoughts always lingered at him. He had existed in nearly everything he did in his daily life; everything enjoyable was connected with him.

And now he was again walking on this earth, unaware of who he truly was and what they had lived. He was sure what to feel about this revelation; he was happy that he was alive, that he could see him again, maybe even have a second chance but on the other hand, he wanted to continue his relationship with him not meet a whole new person that just shares his appearance and the fact that he was alive meant he had to be killed again. He wasn't happy about him breathing again but he wanted so desperately to find him and just see him. He had been infatuated with that idea ever since he learned about him.

It was like what he felt when he first saw him so long ago.

_Flashback_

_Cloud was a young captain then at the army, not yet a gladiator and this was his first day as a teacher in the academy. He was a little nervous, afraid that he wouldn't be able to control his students and pass them his knowledge, he was afraid of failure. He was an amazingly skilled fighter, he knew that, but he wasn't that skilled with communicating with people; he didn't understand them since he had lived most of his life training and the only ones he communicated with were other warriors. _

"_Cloud!" a female voice called and he immediately recognized it. Tifa, his best friend and most loyal companion. They had been together since kids, training and fighting together. She had also been appointed as a teacher in the academy. He turned to face her smiling softly, when he noticed that she wasn't alone; she was accompanied by a handsome brown haired male. "Hey!" she greeted him and playfully punched lightly his shoulder. "How do you feel? Are you ready to show your students who's the boss?"_

_He nodded and lightly punched her back. "A little nervous I guess." he admitted and his friend smiled at that and caressed slightly his shoulder._

"_Don't worry, everything is going to be fine." she reassured him and smiled again. _

_He looked at her with the corner of his eye as he started walking and she followed. The man followed them as well, keeping some distance between him and them, not wanting to invade in their privacy. "How were your students?" _

_She raised her shoulders indifferently and put her hands in her pockets. "Not bad."_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_It means that for a first time teacher, they were pretty quiet but I don't know whether they understood me or not. They were just staring at me and let me talk on my own." she elaborated and gave him a disappointed look._

_He playfully punched her again on the arm and half smiled. "Don't let it get to you. You didn't even want the job in the first place. You came just because it opens some doors and you meet some very important and influential people."_

"_That doesn't mean I don't care about my work. I want to be good at everything I do and well… maybe I am bad at explaining. If that is true, how can I make sure a group of soldiers is going to perfectly perform a plan, when I can't explain it the right way?" her tone was proof of how worried she was. He didn't like seeing her like this, in distress._

"_Oh come on Tifa, you know that's not true. It is a different matter explaining to young people how to think strategitically and another to give the right orders to a group of trained warriors. I am sure it is a matter of time until they get the hang of it." they stayed silent for a moment "it is a real pity that you were given the theoretical part of the lesson when it is actually useful while one is in combat. Have you met the one that got to train them practically?"_

_She nodded and smiled, feeling a little better after hearing his words. "I did." she replied and turned to look at the man that was following them "It's him. Handsome, isn't he?"_

"_Very" the blond captain admitted without thinking. Tifa raised an eyebrow at that but decided not to comment on it, for the time being at least. _

"_Do you want to meet him?" she asked and before he even got to answer, she called the younger man. "Squall!" she yelled and waved at him to come closer. He immediately started walking towards her. "Squall, this is my friends, Captain Cloud Strife. He is going to teach swordsmanship. Cloud, this is Squall, the practical teacher for strategy." _

"_Well I am your assistant actually. I just supervise the students training along with you." he pointed out but was silenced by Tifa who moved her hands in the air to stop him from talking._

"_Yes that's what some papers say. Other papers though say you make the students practice what I theoretically taught them, so you get the practice part." she told the younger boy._

"_We can switch, if you want." he offered. Tifa smiled at that._

"_I am going to do it, if you propose it once more. I really don't want to just draw thing on the board and try to make some kids that have never been in a battlefield understand what they are supposed to do in certain situations." _

"_How old are you?" Cloud asked suddenly._

"_Six months older than you." Tifa answered immediately in order to tease him. He looked at her and his face adopted a mocking expression with a stupid smile._

"_Thanks, I didn't know that." he told her dryly and she smiled widely at him._

"_You are welcome."_

_He shook his head at her behavior. He couldn't understand the way her brain worked at times! "You, Squall?"_

"_How old I am?" The captain nodded. "Nineteen, sir"_

"_You are very young to hold such a position." he pointed out to the younger male._

"_Does that mean I am not going to be good at it?" the boy asked the blond man._

_Cloud felt slightly taken aback by that question. "N..No" he answered and stuttered slightly, something very unusual for him._

"_Then why does my age matter?" _

"_He didn't mean it like that" Tifa interfered so this conversation wouldn't continue. "He was just surprised. That's all." she calmly stated and touched Cloud's shoulder. The blond man nodded in agreement to Tifa's words and slowly turned his head to look at her. "We need to get going and you need to go to your new students. You don't want to be late on your first day, right?"_

"_I never want to be late." he said. It was true, he was obsessed with time. He checked his watch frequently just to know what time is it and always made sure he was ten minutes earlier wherever he was meant to be. He looked at the boy one more time and extended his hand which he hesitantly took it and shook it slowly. _

_End Flashback_

Ever since then, he thought of the male all the time, whenever his thoughts weren't required to be focused on something else, he was thinking of him, his hair that looked so soft and his eyes that were so beautiful. He thought in the beginning that he was just intrigued because he was so young and had so many responsibilities but he found himself searching for him in every crowd. He didn't want to converse with him or have any kind of interaction usually; he just wanted to see him.

Then suddenly one night he had a dream of a certain nature and he understood why he was so obsessed with the boy. But even then he had understood wrongly; he didn't just lust his body, he was intrigued by his whole personality. He craved for something more than a one time intercourse.

He wouldn't say he was in love because he didn't consider the male his one and final partner in life but he thought of him as something that would become permanent, for some time at least.

Again he was wrong, only that he understood when nothing could be done. He was in love with him and he didn't even know it, he had never even told him. He closed his eyes and just for a brief moment he let all the emotions inside him take control and some tears escaped his eyes.

He was in love with him. That's why he couldn't cope with the idea that he was alive but he didn't even exist in his life, not even as a memory.

* * *

><p>Ok that's it for now. If you find it interesting, please tell me. If not, I am begging you to tell me so I will not waste my time.<p>

Also I really believe that a co author is needed. So if anyone is interested please tell me and maybe we will work with each other. It's not necessary for the other author to write a lot, even two scenes and some talk would be a lot of help. I really do not have this thing planned. I just write whatever comes in mind at the moment.

Any suggestions? Anything youd found confusing? Was The scene with Roxas screaming realistic enough? Should I write it again?

Also please look at my profile, I have a question of sorts that someone may find interesting. It is not the poll but the one in bold.

Have a good day!


	3. Their Mistakes, His Love, Their Destiny

**Note:** Hello everyone (if there is anyone left that is willing to read this XD) I know it's been two months (although I had warned only for one) and I am truly sorry for that. I have good news though! I have found a co author! Her name is Shinozka and she is a friend's friend (although I guess now she is also MY friend too) and she will help me. So just so you know we aspire to update a chapter of THAT length every two or three weeks.

So... Enjoy! This is the first chapter we have co-wrote by the way XD

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Square Enix.

* * *

><p>The doctor came in smiling. Leon and Roxas exchanged a look, and then looked at the doctor. She was a plump woman with a very beautiful face. She had brown hair that reached her shoulders and green eyes. Roxas smiled slightly at her while Leon got up to greet her.<p>

"How's the pretty boy?" she greeted them and went closer to Roxas to check him. . "How's the pretty boy? " She asked, her tone strangely nice, and sounding completely fake. The boy taken a little aback by her way too friendly behavior, leaned back and nodded at her.

"Fine," He muttered.

"I suspect you had a panic attack according to what this man told me," she said as she sat at the edge of the bed. "Has this ever happened again?"

Roxas nodded again and looked away. "I have a problem with crowds," he muttered and the woman smiled at the boy again.

"I see," She said, and for a slight second seemed to think about something for a bit "I'm going to give you some medicine to relax and you will be able to leave either tonight or tomorrow morning," she said and wrote something on paper. I'll come by later. Have fun with your friend."

The door closed and Leon let out a sigh of relief. "I hate hospitals," Roxas said to the older man.

Leon nodded, understanding how the boy felt; he, too, despised being in a hospital. He looked at Roxas, and added, "She is a faker," he said to Roxas and the blond looked at him.

"Fake doctor?" he asked confused and sat up. "Why do you say that?"

Leon shook his head and sat more comfortably in his chair."A fake good person." He smirked at the blond who grinned back at him. She was faking that she cared. I call people like her "fake good people". I must say, she's not a very good faker. Her eyes screamed how she didn't give a shit about us and that she thought us lunatics. "

Roxas looked at the door and sighed. "Yeah, she did."

Leon touched his shoulder to grab the Roxas' attention. "You were telling me before about that guy inside you…"

"Oh,yeah…Bahamut." He lay down again and looked at the ceiling. "He is not a guy, by the way, he is a dragon. The king of dragons."

"What about Squall? In my dreams, he appears to be a guy. He's human."

"He is." Roxas confirmed. "I warn you again, you won't like it."

"Tell me." Leon insisted.

Roxas sighed and looked away from Griever's chosen one, preparing himself to reveal to him that he was in fact the chosen one. And that that was why he had felt so different from the world all his life.)

"The world is not what it seems to be. Things… peculiar, illogical things happen."

Roxas glanced at the man, who had an emotionless expression on his face.

"Squall is one of them but he is also part of a much bigger and more illogical thing that exists. What I am going to say sounds crazy. I thought it was crazy too when Bahamut told me. But it's the only explanation I can give you," Roxas said, watching the man. He began.

"There is a world within the world we live in, hidden from us and no one is allowed to go there or leave that place and go back." He paused for a second, and hesitated. He didn't look at Leon's face, afraid that he would not be able to continue now that he was going to reveal it all.

"This world is magical and has a completely different system from ours. People there also believe in a different deity, Griever, an angel creature. Their Deity has a rival and legend says that Emiya, Griever's enemy, desired to take over the empire from his eldest brother, in the end they had to fight a very long and dangerous battle, in which the great angel was nearly defeated. He managed to beat Emiya but was so hurt and tired from the battle that he had to sleep until he was strong enough again to take over. By doing so, he locked Emiya in a ditch that will only open once the Angel wakes up," Roxas explained.

"The Great Angel has been asleep for centuries now and that's why the people are hiding. The whole empire is hiding; they are waiting for the Great Angel to wake up and lead them away from their magical prison. For the angel to wake up there is a certain ritual that is necessary to take place." He paused and looked at Leon who had an expression that looked like a mixture of shock and fear.)

"The ritual demands Griever's chosen, the messiah, to go to the holy land where the angel's spirit is sleeping and wake it up with the help of the four mages that are the hosts of Griever's children. The spirits' names are Shiva, Valefor, Leviathan and Bahamut."

Leon opened his mouth and got up. He went to leave the room but stopped at the door without opening it.

"I told you wouldn't like it." Roxas looked at the ceiling again and sighed. "Even if you had decided not to know though, I'd still have to tell you. It's my duty." He told him. "As it is yours to listen."

Leon turned and glared at Roxas. "Duty?"

"Calm down and sit. You need to listen to the whole story and then decide whether it is your duty or not," Roxas told him, and then the man looked at the door once more, before he marched towards the bed and sat at its edge.

"Years ago, there was a man that was the chosen one. Before him, there had been some others who claimed they were the chosen ones but none of them were. That man managed to find the four hosts and they started the journey to the holy land but on the road they were killed by Emiya's soldiers: the corrupted priests who used the Gladiators, the warriors that fight for the protection of the empire."

"That man was Squall," Leon stated, having realized what his supposed part was in this story and Roxas nodded confirming.

"You are his reincarnation and for your safety you were born here, at the outside world."

Leon eyed the blonde boy suspiciously. "Are you from…you know… _there?"_

Roxas immediately shook his head denying that statement. "I am like you and I think the other three mages are like that. The spirits were hiding as well, waiting for the time to be right for you to come back to this world." There was a pause between the two males and Roxas sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know in a way what you are going through. You need time and that's understandable to me. Although it's not to Bahamut but what could a dragon know?"

Leon half laughed, half chuckled at the last comment and relaxed a little. "Why are you doing this?"

Roxas raised his shoulders and shook his head. "I honestly don't know. It's not like I AM irreplaceable. The only unique enough to be called that is you. That is what I learned earlier actually and why I had that panic attack."

"What do you mean?" Leon asked.

"Bahamut can have anyone as a host. He just takes over a body. He's been living within me for seventeen years I think or so he says but despite all the difficult situations I have faced from being his host and not understanding why a voice was talking in my head, it is acceptable if I die. Bahamut just takes over another body and continues with them instead. " He looked at the ceiling and scratched the back of his neck a bit. "The same counts for the other hosts, I think."

"That's…."

"Cruel?" Roxas offered seeing that the older man was struggling to find a word.

"Unfair more I'd say, but it is also cruel." Leon clarified. "IF, and I emphasized that, IF I help, will I die or something? Like go to be with the great Angel or something?"

Roxas then had a thoughtful look, and seemed very concentrated. Leon guessed he might have been talking to the Dragon within himself. It was his first time seeing someone contacting an inner being in them, but yet he didn't find it strange at all. He wondered for a second what that would it feel like. Having a voice, who would never go away inside you? His thoughts were interrupted once Roxas spoke. "We don't know but we can't say for sure that nothing would happen to you. This has never happened before, as I told you."

Leon nodded. "If it had, we wouldn't be talking right now." A silence ruled between them before the brown haired man opened his mouth again.

"My family is still my family, right?"

Roxas raised an eyebrow at that question and then started laughing a bit. "Sure they are," he said to the man after he calmed down. "From all aspects. Both because they raised you and because they are biologically related to you." He laughed again a bit more.

Leon glared at the boy and got up. "I have work so I can't stay here more," he announced impassively. "I'll come back during the afternoon so don't leave, even if you have your ticket."

A laugh escaped Roxas lips but he collected himself as much as he could and nodded at the man. "I don't really have anywhere to go so I can do that." Leon nodded in turn and left the room, leaving the boy alone in the hospital room. After a moment of silence, Roxas started half laughing, half chucking again because of Leon's question.

The door closed and Roxas laughed a bit more. He couldn't help but find his question funny. Out of all the things to worry about he chose to worry about his family? Of all the things to possibly ask? He closed his eyes and took big breaths trying to relax and control himself.

_That was immature._

Bahamut's tone when he said that was so close to sulking that Roxas was sure he'd burst into laughing once again. It would certainly annoy Bahamut though, and an annoyed Bahamut would annoy him inside his head until the dragon felt like stopping. The spirit's weakest point was his ego. It was so easy for people to offend him.

_We don't have time. We need to start traveling._

Roxas sighed and shook his head in annoyance because of Bahamut's behavior and insistence. "He needs time."

_If we don't start now, today or tomorrow, he may be dead._

Roxas raised his eyebrow at that.

_You may also be dead, if you stay here for too long. _

_Why?_

The dragon didn't speak for a moment and Roxas felt his heartbeat fasten, which was a sign that what he was going to hear was bad news. Very bad news. He took big breaths to calm down and looked at the room around him to find an object to lay his eyes on to relax. But unfortunately the more he looked, the more everything seemed more dangerous and he became more anxious. He didn't want to have another panic attack so he closed his eyes and with his left hand grabbed his right one and squeezed his nails inside his flesh so hard that he bled. But the action helped his mind and heart to quiet down.

"What is it, Bahamut?" he asked out loud in an even voice.

_The temple_

"Yes? What about it?" Roxas asked impatiently.

_They know._

"What do they know?"

_That he is alive again__, born in the outside world. They have found out also the location of his whereabouts. Not the exact place but the wider area. If the Gladiators that were acquainted with Squall come here, they will be able to locate him very soon. Sooner than we did and much easier. _

Roxas didn't speak, didn't move, didn't have any kind of reaction. He just lay down and breathed hard and deep. The dragon worried about his host who had a weird and dangerous temper. Roxas had had a panic attack because of that story and had to talk to Leon a few minutes ago. It was too much for the young man's head and Bahamut wished he could allow him to rest for some minutes but there was no time.

And Roxas' temper was an obstacle the spirit wouldn't allow to interfere with his father's awakening.

"How much time do we have?" the boy asked in a strained voice that betrayed his emotional distress, despite trying to hide it.

_I can't say for sure but at the most we have four to five days and at the least we have two days. It's a matter of who comes to find him and how quickly they will decide that._

The boy remained silent, trying to find some privacy inside his head to calm down and think about the situation he was in. It was difficult for him, the dragon knew that and he had to congratulate the boy for controlling his emotions so well. But he had to press him, to save both him and his father.

_But we must not play with our luck. _The dragon insisted but the boy again didn't react. _The others know and are moving towards a certain spot where we will begin our journey. We agreed to meet there in a week or so. _

The boy rolled at his left and closed his eyes. "What if he doesn't agree?" he asked the spirit after a moment.

_Then we will force him to come and when we are all together we will convince him. _

"If we do that, he will never be convinced." The boy muttered tiredly. "He seems to be very stubborn."

_True, but he is very moral too and will place the greater good above his. He__ is mixed in this situation no matter what he decides and he will be hunted down and killed by them, even if he says, he is not willing to do anything to help us._

"So he has no choice."

_Indeed. _The dragon confirmed. Roxas sighed and rolled around the bed.

"I want to sleep," he said and closed his eyes. The dragon didn't speak after that and allowed the boy some moments of peace and quiet. He could sleep until Leon came back. He was going to have to reveal to him more and that was going to tire the boy very much.

* * *

><p>Cloud hadn't slept at all during the night and he found it awfully hard to concentrate at the meeting that was taking place in the room. Everyone was talking and some were fighting but the only thing he could register was that they were being noisy and annoying. He just wanted to get up and leave the room and come back in a few hours after he got some sleep.<p>

Tifa moved from her chair next to him and kicked his leg playfully to get his attention. He just opened his eyes to look at the female with a sleepy look.

"I want to leave the room," he muttered and the woman caressed his head and laughed slightly.

She slightly pinched his cheek and smiled at him. "You didn't sleep well."

"Didn't sleep at all actually." He admitted and he imagined Tifa's smile turn into a smirk. He already knew what she was thinking before her. The same counted for her. It was explainable since they knew each other since they were seven years old.

She moved closer to him and pressed her head against his. "Thinking of a certain someone?" she asked although she already knew the answer.

He nodded not really in the mood to start a conversation about that matter. It wasn't that he didn't trust Tifa or that he wouldn't talk to her eventually but it wasn't either the place or the time for that important and painful conversation to take place.

"You know that I will be with you whatever you decide," she whispered to him and squeezed his hand. "Like I was then."

It was moments like this one that made Tifa so important. Although she was strong, independent and always spoke her mind, she was always so supportive of him and respected his wishes and decisions, even if she didn't agree with them. She made her disagreement clear but she didn't prevent him from doing what he wanted. It was something he wasn't sure he could do for her. He was way too selfish to respect her like that and when he thought himself right he did everything he could to prove it. But she never stayed angry at him for long.

"I know Tifa," he acknowledged of her and she smiled.

"But do me a favor and think before you act this time." He opened his eyes to look at her, confused and a little offended by her statement.

"This may be the last chance you'll have, Cloud," she said cryptically and got up to leave after kissing his hair.

Everyone was leaving actually he noticed. As he was about to get up and leave the room too, the door closed and he saw Ashe move towards him. He knew that this meeting between them had to take place but he didn't want it to happen so soon. He was still very confused about what he wanted and thought.

She sat on a chair and crossed her legs slowly, her eyes never leaving Cloud's. "We need to have a talk, Cloud." She said and motioned him to sit as well with a movement of her head. "There are things I want to tell you. One thing actually."

The man sat and warily watched the woman. He and Ashe weren't friends and he had to admit that he was a little hateful towards her for being the one who killed his lover, even if he was also trying to kill him. It was an instinctive reaction that he couldn't help, although logic explained to him how wrong he was. He nodded at the woman to continue.

She opened her mouth but no sound came out of it. This surprised him because she was the kind of woman who always knew what she wanted to say. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "This is going to sound weird or even ironic since it's coming from me…,"she looked at the ceiling without talking any further.

"Ashe..?" Cloud called to her seeing that she didn't continue,

"You know how things sometimes don't go the way they should because we people, make the wrong decisions. How we usually make those decisions by using our brains and not our feelings… "She stopped again showing clearly how uncomfortable she was feeling.

"What about it?" he asked, suddenly feeling a coldness inside him. He wasn't sure what she was going to say or mean with her words, but he knew he wasn't going to like it.)

"We all," she began, and looked at him with an expression that was so close to sadness, Cloud felt himself at the loss of words. "We all make that mistake and we should always learn by our mistakes."

"I don't… don't understand," he stuttered slightly as he felt a strong pain in his stomach.

"We are human and make mistakes." She said again. "And we come to this world to be happy and we have a right to strive for it." Before the man could react and say something to her, she got up and walked quickly towards the door. She got out and closed the door behind her without looking back.

Cloud got up and ran outside of the room but she was nowhere around.

He ran a hand though his hair and took deep breaths in a fruitless attempt to calm down but it didn't work in the end.

So he ran. He didn't know where he was running to but he ran as fast as he could.

He stopped when he reached the familiar place of the empty cave that he and Squall used to go to. Here they spent private time together. He hadn't been to that place for years trying to avoid the memories it would bring. But it seemed that fate had decided that the past could not be forgotten and he was too afraid that he would repeat its mistakes if he tried to deny it instead of learning by it.

_Does he remember me? Does he still love me, even as a memory from a past life?_

He wanted to find the answers to these questions and he wanted to know as soon as possible. That moment as he looked at the cave, he didn't care if he received orders to kill him. He wouldn't obey.

He wouldn't be able to do it.

All the memories they had shared in that cave came back at him and his heart ached because in that moment of solitude he was allowed to miss him and all he offered him. Here they made love for the first time and here they ate and talked for hour.

Here they had known each other.

But not all memories were pleasant ones. It was here, in the cold and dark cave, where he had last seen Squall as his lover and companion. Inside this cave, they would always talk as the best of friends, and they would always find comfort. The last time Cloud had spoken to Squall they had been lovers, and then they had been enemies.

Cloud looked around, remembering vividly every memory that had happened here, and feeling his heart throb. The cave held a huge chunk of his memories: all his happy memories, all his sad memories, and all his intimate memories. It was like a second friend, and Cloud had always loved being inside it because it had always felt to him like a secret no one could find. In here, Cloud could never suppress what he felt no matter how good or bad he was feeling. He could always cry, and let everything out. Often he would take his Buster Sword and just attack the cave, smashing it around the impenetrable boulders to release his anger. He didn't often get angry, but when he did he would come to the cave.

After the day that he and Squall had fought, he had never come back. He was afraid that if he did, he could never get over the pain. So he repressed it, and hid his feelings deep inside his heart, locking them there forever. Outside, he was stoic and strong focusing on what he had to do and listening to his orders, revealing nothing but confidence. No one who saw him ever doubted his strength nor ability to control his emotions. If he was angry, he controlled his temper. If he was hurt, he would bare the pain silently, and if he was happy he would keep it in.

He was good at keeping any unlikable feeling or thought deep inside his heart. In this way, it could never surface outside, and could never reach his brain to process. It was always locked shut, and never opened even if it was trembling to be released. The only times it would even slightly unlock was when he was with Squall or Tifa. Something about them had always been able to nudge whatever Cloud was hiding. They could read him so well, and had always been able to tell if something was wrong. They would gently urge for him to speak, and Cloud would always find himself talking. It had never surprised him during those times, but as he stood there in the cave he now knew how rare of a gift that had been.

Tifa still had this gift, even now as he was holding everything back, trying desperately to not give in to all he felt, she could still get him to talk. This was why Cloud had often raced back to his room, pretending he had something to do. He could never tell Tifa everything he felt, because he didn't know where to begin. She always offered him to start at the break-up with Squall, always seeming to believe this is where it started. Was this where it had started? Cloud didn't know, but he was determined that somehow being inside the cave he would get the answers he needed.

He began walking further into the cave, feeling suddenly old as if he had never been there in thousands of years. Despite his long absence, the cave looked the same. It still had 3 boulders that were in sitting positions, many cracks that would illuminate the cave from the high blazing sun, and a small little pond that Cloud suspected was the drink station for any critter that lived there. The only difference he spotted was the fresh moss growing in the middle. 'Had it been that long since he had come here? 'Cloud wondered, as he sat down, finding himself more than welcome by the cave. Then the sounds of fragile falling raindrops echoed throughout the cave. He felt his shoulders relax a little, as he tried to calm his composure. He did not want to go into hysterics. Not just yet. He decided to concentrate on the tune of the drops, hoping they would help him. He took a second to look around, and then he stopped. He didn't want to relive every painful memory that had occurred in the cave. Neither did he want to relive every joyful memory, but that was proving a hard task as he recalled when certain things had happened and where. _'Maybe I should just leave'_. Then something caught his eye, the sight of something odd on the ground.

He sat up a little, reaching for it to figure out what it was. It was a torn piece of clothing. Curious, he examined it. At first he couldn't make out why it seemed so familiar. He hadn't been in the cave for months now, and maybe even a year, to have dropped anything. He never trained here, and when he had trained it had been years ago when he was younger. Back when he and Squall trained excessively to get better. He contemplated the possibility of someone else knowing about the cave, but then he ruled it out. Only he knew how to get here, and he had shown only Squall.

Then it hit him. This was the shirt he had worn when he had fought with Squall.

It was a piece from his dark blue sweater vest he used to love wearing when he was younger.

He felt himself grow cold, and his heart throb harder.

He wasn't listening anymore to the sounds of the drops. Instead he found himself thinking about the very dark memory he dreaded remembering: the day he and Squall broke off. He looked at the corner where Squall had sat that day, being able to envision him so well as if time had never passed. Squall had been sitting a few inches from him, eating his usual plain sandwich, lost in thought. At the time Cloud had been curious as to what his thoughts were, but had never asked. He never pestered Squall, figuring Squall would tell him when the time was right. He had known it was serious from Squall's grave expression, but he had continued eating. Then Squall had spoken to him.

_ Flashback_

_"Cloud I need to travel to the Holy Lands along with the hosts," Squall said, staring straight at the cave, his expression unfaltering. Cloud looked at him, taken back by the random sentence, as he ate._

_"What do you mean?" he asked, raising his eyebrow curiously._

_"What it sounds like. I'm not thrilled about this but it has to be done."_

_"Wait," Cloud said, confused. He stopped eating. . "Squall I know you want to be an amazing Gladiator, but you can never be Griever's Chosen One. The one who is has been born from birth with this title, and only they can go to the Holy Lands along with the hosts," Cloud explained, figuring Squall had just heard a rumour or was joking. He expected Squall to burst out laughing, but Squall did not._  
><em>Squall stared at him, his face with unknowable thoughts. The expression made Cloud shiver with a bit of fear. Why was Squall like this?<em>

_"I am Griever's Chosen One."_

_"What?"_

_"I have known for a while now Cloud. I came here because I was the Chosen One, and started training because of this very fact as well. However I didn't know I was going to have to sacrifice myself to let Griever out," Squall said, bitterly. He clenched his fist, and Cloud could sense he was scared. "They told me this just yesterday"._

_"Squall that doesn't add up...They don't just give these kind of tasks last minute," Cloud said, unable to believe Squall. How could he? It was ridiculous! Squall the Chosen One?_

_"They did for me. Obviously they knew I wouldn't be so thrilled to sacrifice myself. They keep saying it's for the greater good, and for me to comply. I know the history but it's unfair. I'll have to get killed, and this is why tomorrow I'm going to the Holy Lands."_

_"It's impossible. There's no way you were the Chosen One. It would mean-"Cloud began, but got interrupted._

_"Haven't you wondered why I learned so quickly Cloud? Why I was exceptional as a fighter, and why I gave off an odd vibe? You always said I was odd at first."_

_Cloud froze. He had said that. He had thought that, when he had first been training Squall. Squall had nailed everything perfectly, never needing to see something twice, or it to be explained twice. For any move they were learning or magic spell Squall had always learned it fast. Even his wounds had always healed fast...He had always figured Squall was just a prodigy: a talented man with exceptional skill. But why had he never found him much stranger than that? When all the other Gladiator Apprentices were different? When all the apprentices had taken many moons to train._

_Squall stared at him. "Remember how I could heal fast? I was never like the rest of the apprentices, Cloud. I knew why. I was Griever's Chosen One "._

_"There's no way. I would have sensed it "._

_"You did. Only you turned what you sensed into an attraction towards me. You were fascinated by me, and I liked you too much to say anything."_

_Cloud swallowed hard. He felt himself cold and his head dizzy with confusion. He knew Squall wouldn't be lying about this; there was no gain to lie about such a heavy title. Not when Griever's Chosen One had to prepare themselves for certain death. Squall never lied or joked when it was something so serious. Squall was the Chosen One. He didn't doubt it now, but he was finding it hard to digest._

_"Then that means...You knew about this from the very beginning when you met me," Cloud said, unable to look straight into Squall's grey eyes. From the corner of his eye, he saw Squall nod._

_"I only knew I was Griever's Chosen One. Nothing about sacrificing myself until now," Squall replied._

_"But you knew, and you came to me to learn how to get stronger? You came to me knowing I would teach you how to become a great Gladiator so you could harvest Griever's Strength." Squall said nothing, and Cloud realized it was true. Which meant Squall had used him from the very beginning...?_  
><em>Cloud could feel a small pain in his chest. His heart was beating fast, and he felt himself nauseous at the truth.<em>

_Bothered, he asked, "When did you plan to tell me anything? Or did you think you would keep quiet forever?"_

_"I was going to tell you when the time was right. It's not something easy to say, or believable. But then I found out I was going to have to die and I couldn't keep that a secret from you-"_

_"Yeah, because you'd be dead, and I'd be wondering where you were!" Cloud spat, angry now. "I'm not an idiot Squall!"_

_"I know Cloud! I never said you were!" Squall replied back, moving closer to Cloud as if sensing how hurt the blonde man was. "Cloud let me explain. It's not how it sounds like. I-"_

_"It's not? So it doesn't sound like you used me, kept a huge secret, waited until now when you're going to have to die to tell me?" Cloud interrupted, not letting Squall continue. He was more than pissed now. His heart was shaking badly, and he couldn't get the feeling of nauseous out. His stomach felt empty, and he held his head to focus but everything was starting to spin._

_Everything he had ever believed in was a lie._

_"Cloud let me explain. You're jumping to conclusions. It's not like that at all," Squall said, next to Cloud. He was worried for him, but Cloud was too busy being angry and hurt to notice Squall's worry._

_"There's nothing to explain. You used me as your port of information, and as your mentor to train you." The words hurt Cloud to say aloud, and he was having difficulty breathing. But there was one thought he hadn't voiced aloud yet. One thought that transcended every time he took a breathe. Had Squall ever loved him?_

_"Let me guess. You also seduced me so my defence would weaken and just focus on you while we trained in private," Cloud stated rather than asked. This had to have been true. From the very beginning Squall had been very eager for Cloud to take him as his only apprentice, and he had made himself very interested in Cloud. "You charmed me so you could be the only person I wanted to train, and so you would have an edge. That's why you scouted me from the very beginning, isn't it?"_

_"I also thought you were attractive, however I had no intention to seduce you. I found you annoying at first remember? But then I-"_

_"What difference does that make? I was just a stupid fling for you to use as you saw fit! "._

_"No Cloud!" Squall yelled, his voice serious yet desperate to explain himself. "I never did that! At the beginning I was thinking of ways for me to get stronger, but as I grew closer to you I-"_

_"You what? Fell for me? Don't even say it because it's not true Squall! I'm not buying it anymore!"_

_He felt his blood start boiling, and a whirlwind of emotions go through him. How dare Squall use him like that after he knew how hard it was for Cloud to open his heart! Cloud had given him his heart, his training, his secrets, and Squall had only used him! He felt betrayed, but more than anything he felt hurt. Suddenly he felt himself have a moment of vertigo._

_He couldn't hear anything anymore as he fell on his knees. His mind was spinning with a violent velocity, and his heart made itself very clear in his ribcage, as it beat loudly. He felt himself grow pale, and he felt himself cold once again. He didn't even notice when Squall's arms suddenly were on his body, wondering what was wrong. No, he couldn't notice anything as he was lost in thought. He couldn't get over the idea of having been used so badly. All these months of snatching information, asking questions and asking permission to be told news about Griever had just been because Squall had known he was the Chosen One. Every time Squall had asked, Cloud had always figured it was only because of curiosity from his prodigy. Now it all made sense why Squall wanted to know so much relating to the topic._

_As he lay there, feeling ill, Cloud felt stupid. He had fallen so easily for Squall and all this time Squall had just sneered behind his back in triumph. How proud he must have felt all these months getting everything he wanted while Cloud was unaware. He had placed Squall in such high regard, seeing him as his flawed but lovable partner, and loving him more than Squall could have ever known. What an idiot he had been!_

_He slowly started to regain his strength, and noticed Squall was looming over him, worried. He pushed Squall away, not wanting his pity after everything he had done. He didn't want to feel his touch, and it even shamed him to think he had made love to this man. He got up, and now his heart which had risen for months, now slowly sank back to its resting place, about to break._

_"Cloud what's wrong? What just happened?" Squall asked his eyes full of worry and threatening-to-fall tears. Despite all the pain Cloud felt, he was taken by surprise. Squall never cried. "Cloud let me explain," he said, and it suddenly occurred to Cloud that Squall may have been crying because he was scared he was going to lose him. 'No. That's what my heart is hoping it is'._

_He felt the tears burning, but he would never let Squall see them. He would never give Squall the satisfaction of seeing how heartbroken he was._

_"It's over," Cloud said, feeling his strength dying. The tears were trying to escape his eyes now._

_"Cloud you have to let me explain," Squall cried, seeming extremely hurt and sounding as if he was pleading. "You have it all wrong. I never used you when I said I loved you!"_

_"You did use me Squall. All this time you did," Cloud replied, his voice grim._

_"No Cloud that's not what I ever meant. I originally wanted to get stronger but Cloud I did fall for you!"_

_"Stop lying," Cloud said, turning his face slightly away, as he looked down. He couldn't look at Squall._

_"I'm not. Let me finish so I can explain better, and-"_

_"I said stop."_

_"I'm not lying!"_

_"I'm leaving," Cloud said, and began to turn away, wanting nothing more than to run out of the cave. Suddenly Squall grabbed him by the vest, trying to keep him at bay._

_"Let go!"_

_"No! You have it completely wrong Cloud! Stop being stubborn and listen to me!"_

_Cloud violently punched the brown haired man, making Squall accidentally tear a bit of his vest as he fell down hard on the cave's cold floor. He didn't look at Squall, and instead, Cloud ran out as fast as he could. His heart which had been shaking now broke into a million china pieces._

_-End of Flashback-_

Reflecting back on it now, as he held the torn piece of his old vest, Cloud felt himself once again stupid. He had never let Squall explain properly, and Squall had never been good at explaining anything. He was always so straight to the point and awkward that it always came out wrong. _'I bet he had started with the news of him going to the Holy Lands because he was scared to die, and wanted my comfort'_Cloud thought, wondering how Squall must have felt, after he had left him in the dark cave, alone.

He clenched the piece of fabric in his hand. "I'm so stupid!" he said aloud, frustrated. "He wanted to explain it all to me and I just made assumptions!"

He threw the piece of fabric away, in sheer irritation, not wanting to recall anymore. Throughout the whole ordeal when Squall had told him the news he had just made assumptions, and lost his cool. It was understandable why considering what he had thought, but as a Gladiator he should have never lost his composure. Not without knowing precisely what was going on as the Gladiator Law stated: Never make assumptions until you were a hundred percent clear.

He had completely forgotten the law, and even worst he had run away.

"Some Gladiator I am," he said, still frustrated. Sitting on top of the rocks, he took deep breathes, then closed his eyes and concentrated. None of this was going to help him now. What had happened was in the past and he couldn't change the past. It was all there in stone, and the only thing he could do was focus on now.

And right now, Griever had reborn Squall and the Gladiators were going to find him. If they did, and if he accepted to go, he would see Squall again.

He felt his heart do a little leap, and then felt himself smile at the thought. His eyes were tearing from joy, and for the first time in a long time he let himself easily be swept with emotion. Would he be the same Squall? Or would he be a very different man from the man Cloud had fallen in love with? Could they possibly fall for one another again if he was the same?

He stopped, and decided to stop crying. There was no reason to rejoice just yet.

He kicked a stone, and despite feeling the wave of possibilities through him, he felt unsettled. There were too many questions, and to many things that were out of place. Like the council's reluctancy to explain themselves. Why were they being so secretive about this mission? They had never acted this way before, and had always been detailed in explanations. Even if it was because this involved Griever's Chosen One, Cloud couldn't understand why they would suddenly behave this way. In fact wouldn't they have to behave on their best if Griever could come back?

'_It doesn't add up. Something is wrong. They're keeping a secret from us' _Cloud leaned back on the rock, sitting on the ledge wall of the cave, as he thought about the council. He couldn't imagine what type of secret they were hiding, but he knew it wasn't good. _'I wonder...does Ashe feel the same way?'_

As his mind came to Ashe, he suddenly remembered, some time ago, Ashe had been trying to talk to him. Maybe she was going to mention her doubts about the council? _'Wait no she had been trying to talk to me about a mistake', _Cloud thought, as the cave seemed to get quieter. He felt suddenly an eerie sensation, and thena darkthought passed through him. What if it had been a mistake to kill Squall? What if his lover had never had to die?

He shivered.

There was no way this was possible. The council were leaders for their very wisdom, and they were always correct. No one ever questioned them, and as a Gladiator you followed orders: no exception. By law you had to entrust the council, and you had to give your loyalty. There was neither doubt nor ever a question if they gave you an order. You simply pledged loyalty and finished the order. When they had given the order to kill Squall, no one had questioned it. Cloud hadn't truly liked it (as much as he pretended he did because he was angry at Squall) but he had never refused the order. And all of them being the great Gladiators had gone hunting for Squall, more than ready to show their loyalty.

But what if the council had been wrong? Cloud couldn't help shudder at the very thought. For years he had seen the council as his family, and for years he had given them his loyalty. He couldn't imagine that the very people he loved and respected could lie to him.

But he _was_ questioning them right now, and even Selphie, and a few of his other family members were as well.

He began pacing up and down the cave, contemplating about the council, and what he would do if he didn't trust them. He knew he had to go and see Squall again, but if they gave the order to kill him, would any of the Gladiators do it? 'Surely Ashe would' he thought, as he recalled she had been the one to strike the final fatal arrow shot at Squall. She had been the one to show her loyalty, and she had been the courageous one to do what he couldn't. It wasn't a bad thing, and he admired her (in secret) for her strength, but did she trust the council? Would she pledge her loyalty even if she didn't?

The council to Ashe (and Cloud) were like family. Each member loved her, and found her more than impressive. She had been one of the favourites since she had become a Gladiator, and on the day she had killed Squall, they had rewarded her with the Golden Gladiator Room and a celebration: the ultimate reward for a Gladiator.

In a lot of ways Ashe was heavily tied to them, and she would not easily betray them unless there was a good reason. Cloud knew it, and he also knew a lot of the other Gladiators felt the same. None of them would ever dream of betraying the council so easily, and even if he doubted them, he knew that he had to be a hundred percent clear before making another stupid mistake. But if they had lied and Squall had never had to get killed, then that meant he had suffered for many months over nothing...

He shook his head, and then leaned against a wall, closing his eyes. He tried focusing on one thought. Already he had cried out of happiness, and already he knew he wanted to let out every emotion he felt. However, he knew there was still another matter to deal with: Ashe.

After the day of Squall's death, Cloud had always held resentment towards Ashe. On one hand she had brilliantly been more than impressive as she had displayed courage and strength. She had aimed from far and she had pierced Squall's heart. Not many Gladiators had this talent to attack from far and strike well. Cloud couldn't do it. He was much better in front-to-front combat then any distant attack. The moment he had seen Squall, he hadn't attacked. And not because of any lack of skill: he could not kill Squall.

He had always been thankful that Ashe had done the task, but he hated her for killing his lover.

It was an understandable feeling, but one Cloud could not have as a Gladiator.

Gladiators were bound by Codes of Loyalty, and Trust. If a Gladiator didn't have any trust for their teammates and for the orders given to them, they were useless as one. They were obligated to be fiercely loyal, thinking of nothing else but the good of protecting and obeying orders from the higher councils. In exchange they would be given amazing strength, skills, and a safety of home. It was an amazing honour, and one Cloud did not take lightly. He loved being a Gladiator, and loved all the teachings he had gotten from his mentors. He loved the chance to fight for what was right, and he loved the security he felt. But he kept so many secrets from his "family".

And nothing was supposed to be kept secret or hidden.

If a Gladiator had a secret or concern, they were supposed to address it to one another to discuss it. Even a friend would be alright if it meant getting any load of their chest. They had to stay free from any repressed emotions if they were going to do their job right. The high councils believed that if anyone kept anything buried, it would only prove distracting during missions.

On the first day they had discussed the rebirth of Griever's Chosen One, they had discussed the course of actions to take. During that meeting Cloud had been conflicted with his feelings for Ashe. They were supposed to be bonded as family, and even stronger than family. They were supposed to be willing to die for one another in combat, and be prepared to always fight no matter the circumstances. When Ashe had been discussing the issue, Cloud felt everything but this bond. He had not wanted to listen; instead, he had focused more on his tiredness. This was his usual way of dealing with meetings from Ashe, and every Gladiator had noticed and addressed him on it many times.

_Flashback_

_"Cloudy you're going to have to forgive Ashe one day," Selphie said, leaning close to him as Paine and Rikku stood near her. "It's not good for the Gladiator Code, and it isn't good for the atmosphere. Plus think about it, Ashe must hurt knowing you hate her so much."_

_"Yeah! And it was her duty!" Rikku chimed in, helping the hyper-active brunette. "We are told to do our task, keep quiet, and then celebrate if we succeed. It's not glamorous but you know the drill by now. I mean, what else could she have done? It was either kill him or have a hair-rising punishment. And we all know how disasterrific those are..." Rikku said, looking down, and shaking her head._

_"We know you and had been together," Selphie teased, nudging him, "But Ashey had no choice. I know how you feel about losing someone you love but we have to deal with the pain."_

_"Mm-hm," Rikku agreed, nodding her head. "You have to keep memories inside."_

_"I know all this already, but it's not easy," Cloud replied, looking at the two girls._

_The next voice that spoke came from Paine. Her tone had been cold and serious. "You have to get over it Cloud. If you don't forgive Ashe it'll make it worst for you, for us, and for the rest of the Gladiators. You knew the risk of becoming a Gladiator. You knew it meant that we may have to suffer and grieve over lost ones"_

_"Paine, we're trying to encourage him not deter him," Rikku said, uncomfortable with the vibe they had now._

_"No. He needs his facts. Either he controls how he feels, or he'll be useless as a Gladiator."_

_"You wouldn't be so calm if you lost Rikku or Yuna."_

_"Cloud, Don't you see? You're emotions are affecting you. If I lost Rikku or Yuna I would have quit being a Gladiator, because I know I would have been useless as one," Paine said, looking down._

_"Paine," Rikku said, looking at her, touched._

_"I need to tell you something Cloud, and it's supposed to be kept in silence but you should know so you can make a decision. Lately your attacks have been bad with your fighting skills very hazy. The council has noticed, and are debating what to do with you. They believe you're like this because you're losing your touch but want to know why you're really like this? It's because you won't let your feelings out. You keep it in and in, and that is affecting your body," Paine explained, looking into his eyes._

_"You can't keep all that in forever," Selphie said, "Or you'll never recover from the heart ache."_

_Paine continued. "You have two choices so you have to decide: Quit being a Gladiator, or Forgive Ashe. There is no other choice."_

_End Flashback_

Paine had been right. Those were the only choices he could make. If he continued like this, he would get dismissed, and all his hard work and love he had being a Gladiator would go to waste.

The old Cloud would have never recognized this new Cloud.

Not this Cloud who kept the betrayal, the resentment, the anger, hurt, and sadness all inside. The old Cloud would have come to the cave, and would have felt at ease letting anything out. Now all of it being bottled up inside were affecting his body. Last time he had gone on a mission he had felt his Buster Sword heavy, and he never had felt it heavy before. He was always tired, and he was always never hungry.

If he didn't do something, he knew he would get worst. He knew he had to let it all go.

The sounds of drops brought his attention back to the cave. It seemed darker than it had been before, and he felt cold against the hard wall of the cave. He looked around, feeling alone, and the cave almost seemed to invite him further into its isolated home. Not wanting to keep it anymore, he started to cry.

He let the tears freely pour, as he leaned against the wall more comfortably. He wasn't ashamed to let the tears fall, and now that he had started he was afraid he would never stop. He couldn't concentrate on any memory anymore; instead he concentrated on his emotions, letting it all out as he felt a warm breeze pass through the cave. In here, he could sob as long as he wanted with no fear of being seen, or seeming weak.

And so he did.

By the time Cloud stopped crying, the cave had gotten pitch black, and the sun was descending away, bringing his wonderful brightness with it. He wiped the fresh damp tears from his face. _'Huh, I feel completely lighter now. All those emotions bottled in me must have given me weight'_ he thought, as he stretched a bit. He felt wonderful compared to what he had felt a while ago. He felt as if he had just unlocked and freed every jammed thing there was in his heart. He felt liberated but above all he felt at ease.

'_Maybe I should continue to free it much more'._

He glanced around the cave,hearing the drops again, and listening to their tune. For the longest time he stayed in a trance, listening away as if the drops washed away all his problems. Suddenly he felt a strong determination within him rise, and then as if it had been all fogged up before by useless thinking, he made a decision. He would not quit being a Gladiator, and he was going to forgive Ashe. Somehow as he said it aloud to himself, it seemed so simple and clear that he felt almost laughable at having taken so long.

He began walking back to the entrance, feeling himself lighter than he had ever felt and loving this new sensation inside him. Loving the burning determination, and strength he felt. As he neared the entrance, he gave the cave one last look. It was extremely pitch black, and it seemed to have grown more silent as he was leaving.

"Thank-you. I'll be back soon, I promise, but let's hope my conversation with Ashe goes well," Cloud said, talking to the cave, feeling a bit ridiculous. Then as if to answer, a small wind passed through, slicing the sharp silence and he smiled.

"Take care until I come back to tell you what happened."

* * *

><p>The Gladiator's Hall was long, and empty as Cloud headed towards Ashe's room. He could hear every footstep he took, and he could hear any echo that took place. The halls were scarce with no Gladiator's in sight and Cloud wondered if they were all still training. Would they still be training at this hour? It was common for them to do so, but somehow he figured it had more to do with the news of Griever's Chosen One.<p>

Squall...

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts from Squall as he walked down the halls.

It didn't work.

In order to not occupy his ten minute walk to Ashe's room with thoughts of Squall he figured he would focus on the halls. But then as he tried to do so he started reeling about the conversation he was about to have with Ashe. He was about to tell her, he was going to forgive her, and she was probably going to continue the conversation that included Squall she had tried to say a few hours ago. _'The one about the mistake...'_He felt himself nauseous and determined, more than ever to distract himself, he glanced at the hall.

They were long, spaced halls, that on each part of the wall had majestic Greek columns all made out of the finest marble. The columns were the colour white that contrasted very beautifully with the beige halls, and the ceiling above him was exquisite. There were decorative carvings that resembled those of the elaborate carvings in Victorian Classic Mansions, and they seemed almost as if someone had used cake icing to design the frilled yet detailed work. There were small little lamps that resembled torches, on every column, brimming with almost the brilliance of victory. They added a warm and cozy feel to the halls that made any guest feel welcomed yet impressed.  
>The floor was made of pure marble, and had a long red carpet for the Gladiators to walk on. To make them feel superior as their title. As he walked on it, he stood a little taller, feeling as tall as the columns. Cloud loved walking down the hall. It always made him feel so strong, and proud of what he had achieved. It had taken him years to get where he was now, and he wouldn't let himself feel less when he was in the presence of such a hall.<p>

He turned a corner, noticing now gold framed pictures of every Gladiator. He smiled as he passed by them, particularly finding it hard not to laugh as he saw Selphie's and Rikku's. They were in such strong, confident poses that it seemed so dramatically different from how he knew the two girls. However he admired their picture, and decided to not exchange a look at his as he passed his own. He hated pictures of his own, especially in over-sized huge photos.

He started seeing the glow of a gold door. As he slowly began to approach Ashe's door, he felt all that tall confidence die down. He was beyond nervous now, and he stopped as he looked at the door.

_'Ashe'  
><em>  
>Suddenly he felt a stab of fear. What if, he didn't want to know the truth? What if the truth was unbearable? What if she told him Squall had never needed to be killed?<br>_  
><em>He closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Ashe asked, from behind the door. He could tell she had been expecting someone from how close she sounded.

"It's-"

"Cloud," she finished, walking closer to the door.

"Yes."

He heard the sounds of footsteps, and the loud unlocking of a door. Ashe appeared in front of him, looking as beautiful as ever, and looking like she had been expecting him. He looked at her, and noticed she looked as nervous as he did which in odd way gave him comfort. _'So this will be hard for both of us'_he thought, as he gulped.

"Ashe," he finally began. "We need to talk."

* * *

><p>That's it everyone XD We would really like your opinion about the mixed writing style (if you understand that some difference has taken place.) and about how the story goes. Since this is Shinozka's first chapter, please welcome her with... *thinking pose* four reviews for that chapter... what do you say? Can you do that?<p>

Anyway... Thank you very much for reading this XD


End file.
